On her eighth birthday Lisa received a beautifully wrapped gift that was delivered by UPS. She wondered which of her relatives had sent her such a large, nicely wrapped package since there was no name or card or any way to identify where it came from or from whom it was sent!
She undid the fancy pink bow and opened the brightly colored birthday wrapping. Inside of the rather large rectangular box was a bright yellow rain slicker with black snaps and clamps that closed it in the front.
She tried it on and it fit perfectly! Whoever sent her this wonderful gift sure knew her exact size. Suddenly she heard a loud rumble of thunder outside and when she went to the window it was raining about as hard as she’d ever seen it rain!
“That’s odd! ” Lisa exclaimed…”It wasn’t raining a few seconds ago…in fact…the sunshine was so bright that I had to close the window curtains!”
Lisa went to the front door and opened it. It sure was raining hard out there. Water was running down the streets and along the gutters into the storm drains.
“This is perfect!” thought Lisa. “I can try out my new Birthday present!”
Lisa stepped outside and as she got to the walkway, suddenly, without warning, the rain abruptly stopped and the bright sun shone without a cloud in the sky! The rain had stopped so fast that her new yellow raincoat hadn’t even gotten wet!
She looked around and the grass was wet, the parked cars were wet, everything was wet except her new raincoat. “What a mystery!” thought Lisa.
When she went back into the house she removed her raincoat and hung it on the hook near the door.
The nexy day as Lisa got ready for school it started to rain. “Oh Good! Today I can wear my new raincoat to school and show all of my friends.”
She grabbed her lunch and saw the bus coming down the street, windshield wipers going and she thought… “My new raincoat is the same color as the school bus…what fun!”
The bus stopped and it’s red lights began to flash and Lisa went out of her door to run and get on…and once again, like before on her birthday, the rain abruptly stopped and the sun came out!
As Lisa climbed up the bus steps the driver said…”Hi Lisa…maybe you won’t need your raincoat after all today!”
“It…always seems to stop raining when I put it on and go outside!”
“Yeah…sometimes I bring my umbrella along to make sure that it won’t rain!” The driver laughed as Lisa made her way to her favorite seat and the bus drove off.
At the end of the school day it was still bright and sunny outside. Lisa grabbed her raincoat and the teacher Miss Brown said…”You won’t need that raincoat this afternoon Lisa…it’s a beautiful day outside.”
But Lisa decided that it was easier to wear her raincoat than to carry it along with her books. As she put the coat on she heard the rumble of thunder and, looking out through the school windows, she saw it start to rain.
“Oh my Lisa, I guess it IS a good thing that you brought your raincoat. It’s beginning to rain out there!”
“Yes Miss Brown.” Lisa walked down the hall and as she got outside onto the school steps, just like before, the rain stopped and the sun came out!
As she boarded her bus the driver said…”That raincoat of yours must be magic or something. It makes it stop raining whenever you wear it!”
“Well…actually…if I put it on when I’m inside it starts to rain. Then I go OUTside it stops!”
But the driver wasn’t listening and was closing the door, so Lisa made her way back to her seat, a very puzzled and confused young girl.
When she got home she went to the room where her Daddy was working on the computer.
Lisa was holding her new raincoat and said…”Daddy…Watch!”
She put the raincoat on and waited.
“Very nice….where did you get that pretty yellow raincoat?”
“It came by UPS. It was wrapped as a gift but I don’t know who sent it…but look outside…it wasn’t raining a minute ago was it?”
“No it wasn’t” Her father went to the window…”….and it still isn’t! I guess you don’t need that coat tonight huh?”
Lisa went to the window. Her Daddy was right it WASN’T raining! She took the coat off and put it back on three times, but no rain!
“You must really like that raincoat huh Lisa?”
“Ah…yes Daddy…it’s a pretty yellow, and it REALLY keeps me dry!”
“I’m sure whoever sent it will let us know sooner or later.”
Lisa tried on the coat four more times that night but it never did rain.
Then three days later when she woke up it was raining.
“It’s raining Lisa. You can wear your pretty new raincoat today!”
“Yes Daddy….I will.” She looked out of her bedroom window and sure enough it was raining. So after breakfast and after dressing for school she went to the door to wait for the bus and as it came down her street, she put on the coat and before she could open the door, the sun was streaming through the front windows.
“That’s strange…I’m not even outside yet and the rain has stopped.”
“I guess you won’t need your raincoat after all Lisa.” Her father said. So Lisa took off the coat and hung it on the hook by the door and left for school.
Once she got outside it started to pour again. So she ran to the bus and got on. “Crazy weather we’re having lately huh?” the bus driver said.
“Yeah…REAL crazy!”
Lisa thought that she was confused before…but now! “When I wear the coat inside it stops the rain now, but before, it stopped when I wore it outside!”
“What did you say Lisa?” the bus driver asked.
“Oh nothing…just about the weather.”
Over the next few weeks the weather seemed quite normal only raining at night when Lisa was asleep. The yellow raincoat stayed on the hook next to her Daddy’s raincoat the whole time. But then on the third Tuesday when Lisa woke up it was raining and thundering and was very windy too.
“You’ll need your raincoat today for sure Lisa!” her father told her.
Lisa slowly took the coat off of the hook and put it on. It was still raining. Then she went to the door and out onto the front steps…still raining. The MAGIC…was gone!
Lisa was relieved. She really wanted a normal raincoat to wear “IN THE RAIN”…and now she finally had one. She skipped up the walk, splashing the wet puddles on the walk with her new coat keeping her warm and dry underneath.
The weather report said that there was a large tropical storm coming through and it would be raining for two or even three more days.
“I have to go to the store Lisa, I’ll be right back!” Her Daddy grabbed his raincoat from the hook next to hers and put it on and as he walked outside…the rain suddenly stopped and the sun came out brightly shining and not a cloud in the sky!
As her Daddy started to head back into the house to put his raincoat back, Lisa quickly grabbed her yellow Birthday present off of the hook and hid it!
When her Daddy came in…”That’s strange! It’s supposed to rain for two more days!”
“Yes Daddy…VERY strange.” Lisa didn’t want her new raincoat to get anywhere near her Daddy’s coat now… let him have a Magic raincoat…it’s just too confusing for an eight year old and NOT any fun at all!!!

“Look over there…by the bench.”
“Hey….yeah….isn’t that funny. I don’t think I ever saw one that hungry before.”
“Naw…me either.”
“Look at that one …prancing around like a Peacock or something.”
“Amazing. They are so busy eating I don’t think they care whether we’re watching them or not.”
“You must admit…it IS fascinating.”
“Well…yeah I agree with that. Some of my friends think I’m batty watching them and all of their colorful idiosyncracies.”
“I especially like feeding times. How they all scramble and get in lines and sometimes get pushy. The bigger ones always seem to elbow their way to the food.”
“Well…are we done here today?”
“Yeah…I think so. Want to go get something to eat ourselves?”
“Sure. Over on the corner there’s a great place to eat.”
“My FAVORITE place. They always have the deluxe mix with the nuts and berries. Let’s fly over there now.”

“When you get ready for a picnic there’s always so much to do!”
“I agree. There’s finding the proper location and there’s making sure that the effort will be worth it for everybody with good food.”
“And don’t forget about the weather. That’s very important. We don’t want the picnic to have to be packed up quickly and everyone scrambles away.”
“Well…anything worth the effort always takes a lot of forethought.”
All agreed.
Just then “Brownie” ran into the group…”I found it the PERFECT picnic spot!”
“Oh great! Show us exactly where it is and we’ll all follow!”
Brownie led the way and then following closely behind him in a long line was the entire ant hill!

As Justin walked out of the Goodwin Mutual Trust Company for the last time a hollow feeling came over his psyche. He was no longer officially the Chief Claims Officer of the thirty second largest Insurance company in the world. He could now be described with a word that he disliked more than any other in his vast vocabulary…RETIREE!
Oh he was happy for the free time, permanent vacation which lay ahead, which he had earned after forty eight years of employment with but a single company. He had started in the mail room alongside Gustavis Goodwin, eighth “Goodwin” to work for his family’s firm.
Justin knew that unless Gustavis or “Gus” as he was known to close friends, wound up in prison, convicted of some atrocious crime, Gus would eventually become President of the company.
It was good to be friends with a Goodwin at Goodwin Mutual Insurance Company and Gus came to relay on the excellent judgement of Justin down through the years.
But today, would be the very last day that Justin would ever see Gus again, at least as an adult, of which, incidentally at the time, Justin was totally unaware.
Yes, it was a strange day for anyone under the circumstances, but especially for Justin.
After arriving home Justin went to his dressing room to change into retiree clothes, whatever they were. He’d ordered an array of outfits from Orvis that gave the impression of big game hunter, and a group of clothes from Caballas that hinted of fly fisherman, and finally a selection of duds ordered at Emporio Armani which translated to a look of European weekend sophistication.
Justin tried on all of his “looks” but couldn’t settle on a suitable non-suit for retirement.
Justin’s Mom had saved all of his clothes from his childhood and just because it was a day of reminiscence, Justin pulled out the trunk full of clothing and pictures from those, too long ago to count, happy days of way back when.
He was in the attic looking through the array of kid’s outfits complete with shoes, slightly worn and scuffed, when the room began to swim and the dust became caught up in a swirl, and as the swirling cloud grew larger and larger like a tornado, Justin was pulled into the cyclone and was swept away!
He didn’t know how long he’d been twirling but Justin was still dizzy when he thumped to a landing and tried to stand up or even focus on the vista before him.
After a minute or two and after rubbing his eyes, which never really helps anyhow, he realized that he was back in his old school yard at #55 elementary school.
“Get in here Kidagin, you are ALWAYS the last to come back in from recess. You’ll never amount to anything with that attitude of yours.”
It was Miss Jennings, his sixth grade teacher. Not one of his favorites but definitely one that always pushed him on to better effort.
Justin looked down at himself, his short legs and smallish feet and childlike hands and realized that he had seen those same limbs about the time that he was twelve years old!
He was still staring at himself when Miss Jennings, yelled for the second time…”NOW!”
Justin got up from the ground, and dusted himself off. Then, as he passed his stern teacher he said… “Miss Jennings, I am deeply disappointed in my abominable behavior and I am forthwith dedicating myself to correcting my demeanor to a degree where you will be alleviated from the dismay that I have caused during this recess period.”
As Justin took his seat behind his desk Miss Jennings was still standing at the door, mouth agape!
After a time of readjustment for Miss Jennings she resumed her duties at the head of the class and her lesson but never again looked even near the direction of the desk where Justin sat.
He was slowly beginning to understand what had happened to him and realizing the unbelievable power that he now possessed as a twelve year old WUNDERKIND!
It didn’t take long for the teachers to realize the success to be had by “showing off” Justin by way of Spelling Bees, Debates, Science Fairs, and all sorts of events where Justin blew away all competition.
After a month or so, the teachers were even asking him for advice, especially on matters of investing and insurance.
Letters that were sent home with Justin, were responded to by him as if he were his parents.
Justin was still living in the family home where he grew up and “walked to school” each day.
The beauty of Justin’s situation was that he still had his bank accounts and his pension from the Insurance company. He wouldn’t dare drive a car but ordered mostly everything from Amazon with home delivery.
Justin often went to the attic and tried to see if he could find a way to travel back and forth from retirement to sixth grade but never could get the “swirl” to build up any power.
He thought at first that he might be able to predict events since he had lived through them but somehow the “time twist” as he called it, didn’t work that way.
But he had plenty of clout as a twelve year old with the experience of a retiree and that was more than enough to deal with on a daily basis.
He didn’t really want to admit it to himself and of course couldn’t to the rest of the world, but he was actually starting to miss things.
He was doing lots of homework and although it was easy, it took time and he had to do it even if he didn’t want to. Plus, he couldn’t go anywhere as an adult or even by himself except to school without an adult being with him.
He missed driving his car. He missed being tall, he missed adult friends, and frankly he missed so many things that he couldn’t even list them all, though he tried.
He was deciding, and not too slowly, that he actually missed something that he never would have guessed: he missed the idea of retirement. A comfortable one where he could go nearly everywhere and do almost anything he wanted, when he wanted, and with whom he wanted: go to sleep when he wished and sleep as late as he wished and eat adult foods.
But there was a problem. How to “Get Back”.
He spent hours in the attic but nothing that he tried seemed to get the swirl going. Until one Saturday, after he had beeen experimenting all day with “get back” methods, he pulled out the trunk where the children’s clothing and photos had originally been stored. Justin had placed all of his “retirement outfits, the Hunter, The Fisherman, and the European Sophisticate into the trunk and replaced it back into the attic corner.
Upon opening the lid and pulling out the second outfit, there it was…”THE SWIRL” and he madly pulled outfits out of that trunk as fast as he could and the tornado gathered him up along with the clothing and after a wild and hectic ride, dumped him with a thump onto his patio with a glass of adult lemonade in his hand, wearing a safari jacket, waders and fishing boots and a beret! But he had made it all the way back to retirement and total bliss.
Justin Kidagin was never ever a kid again and he was so happy, that from that day forward, he laughed every single day.
The lesson from this tale is that if you ever meet an extremely precocious 12 year old, check out his attic!

“EIGHT…Where is EIGHT?. This is getting to be too much of a habit with him!” exclaimed NINE.
“I am ONE that agrees TWO!”
“That’s spelled Too ONE!”
“This is the FIFTH or SIXTH time he’s either been out of order or not here at all!” said FOUR!
“That makes THREE of us that agree TWO!”
“EIGHT! EIGHT! EIGHT! EIGHT! EIGHT! EIGHT!” That’s the SEVENTH time I’ve called him with NO ANSWER!” Grumbled NINE.
“Hey…is anyone lookin’ for me?” asked EIGHT.
A number of numbers all yelled “NOOOOOO!!!”
So EIGHT left and all the numbers that were trying to line up accomplished exactly ZERO!

A hummingbird was humming around

Making his smooth humming sound

While the canary was singing

Dulcet tones his throat bringing

Neither aware that the other’s around

Then the hummingbird sat on a limb

And the canary looked over at him

“Pardon me Chum Aren’t you the guy that can hum?”

“Yes and you’re the bird that sings on a whim!”

The canary felt somewhat dumb

Admitting that he wished he could hum

“Well I have no choice

I’ve no singing voice…

Oh I wish that I could sing some!”

“I’ll teach you to hum if you teach me to sing”

“Yes think of the joy we could both bring!”

So they each gave some lessons

But ended confessin’

That neither had learned anything!

“I guess I must do and I guess you must too…

Be happy for the talent we’ve got”

“So I’ll sing in the Spring”…

“And I’ll hum everything”…

“Can we be someone else?

I guess not!”

The kids were waiting for the morning school bus

All were happy without the usual fuss

Then a strange sight came down their road

A painted polka dot bus with a cartoon toad

It was wobbly and bounced as it came near

And it clunked and rattled loudly to the ear

The kids weren’t sure if they would climb inside

But they all decided that they just had to ride

The driver Dan was their regular guy

And he laughed really loud as he said “Hi!”

The seats were orange and the roof was green

It was the sillyist bus they’d EVER seen

But they all got to school safe and sound

‘Though some were happy to put their feet on the ground

But after they got off and looked back around

The silly bus was missing, nowhere to be found

The kids were still chatting about the morning fun

So the teacher asked about it when they were done

When they told the teacher about the very strange ride

She laughed and held up her SYLLABUS guide

“Watch your thumb Erik” his Dad said as Erik was about to drive the last nail.
“There! We built it Dad!”
“Well…you mostly built it Erik…it’s YOUR tree house…I just kinda watched a lot.”
“Let’s go down to the yard and look at it!” Erik said excitedly.
They climbed down the slats that were nailed into the old oak tree and when they got down to the grass
they looked up at the handywork.
“It’s the greatest tree house ever Dad!”
“It sure is! Enjoy it and try to be careful. It IS a long way to fall.”
“I know…I will.” Erik couldn’t stop looking up at the finished project and soon his neck started to hurt.
Erik’s Dad had left and the boy hadn’t even noticed, he had been so enthralled at the sight of his “masterpiece”.
“Wait until my buddies see this!” Erik thought.
This would be the exclusive “boy’s clubhouse” with no girls allowed…EVER!. At least, that was the plan. It was way past twilight now and Erik knew that Dad’s rules said that Erik or any of his friends were not allowed to go up into the treehouse at night. Also either Erik’s Mom or Dad had to be home when he went up there. Other things like not leaving any food there and stuff but mainly it was Erik’s private refuge from the trials of boyhood and a few rules didn’t make it any less terrific.
Erik could hardly sleep that night and since it was Friday, he could spend all day Saturday in his treehouse if he wanted. He was thinking about which of his friends he would “honor” by being the first invitee and because he was so tired out by his home building labors he fell sound asleep.

The next morning before even the birds were chirping Erik was up and dressed and out into the backyard. His treehouse sure looked great in the early morning light! Erik climbed up the slats and crawled into his house. A gray squirrel was there in the corner looking up, and then left, then right and all around the interior of the structure.
“This is about the finest tree house I ever did see!”…said…the…squirrel???
“What?” exclaimed Erik.
“THIS IS ABOUT THE….”
“OK OK….I get it….I’m not deaf!” Erik held up his hand to quiet the squirrel. “Quiet the squirrel?”
“You….you….just talked.” Erik whispered in amazement.
“Ah…yeah…I guess I did…didn’t I?”
“Yeah….and you still are…talking that is.”
“Weird!” exclaimed the squirrel.
Just then a mockingbird flew into the open window and whistled. “Whew…this is some tree house huh?”
“Yeah, I was just tellin’ the kid….”
“WAIT! What’s goin’ on here?”
Two Robins were sitting on the window sill and whistling and nodding their heads. “Nice huh?”
“Yeah….real nice!” the birds chirped to each other.
Erik rubbed his eyes, shook his head then all the animals began to talk at each other all at once.
Erik put his fingers to his mouth like his Father had taught him and whistled a loud shrill “TWEET!!!”
They all nodded and looked at Erik as if waiting for the next command.
“You can’t all talk at once!”
Two more squirrels came in.”Hey Ted…what’s up?”
“Yo…Howie….some tree house huh?”
“Wait….do you mean that you animals can ALL talk?”
“Huh…yeah….I….guess we can….couldn’t yesterday….well….not to humans.” remarked the mockingbird.
“Well…not even five minutes ago….outside the tree house.”
“Wait here!” the mockingbird waddled out of the window frame and sat on the limb…“Chirp…tweet….chirp…” was all that anyone heard until she stepped back into the tree house.
“I was saying that I think….NO I KNOW….that this treehouse is magic!” the mockingbird said.
Then one of the squirrels went outside and could only chatter until he stepped back inside….”WOW!”
All of a sudden Erik was speaking to the mockingbird and his english language changed into bird chirps and the bird was shaking his head in agreement to what Erik was saying. Then as Erik turned to the squirrels he began chattering and they nodded in agreement also.
Then Erik heard the squirrel chatter “I’m getting’ hungry…gotta get goin!”
“Sure” chattered Erik and then chirped a goodbye to the mockingbird as she flew off to look for bugs and worms.
Then Erik was alone in his wonderful treehouse. And as he looked out of the window the squirrel in the next tree winked at him, chattered a long chatter but Erik didn’t have a clue as to what the squirrel was trying to say. The mockingbird winked too but Erik couldn’t understand the whistling and it sounded just like normal bird chirps to him now.
And believe it or not Erik was never able to communicate with the birds and squirrels ever again. But he would never forget that one special first morning at his tree house…and actually never told another soul about it …until now.

It was 12:14 AM, later than usual when the Mitchells finally turned off all the downstairs lights and went up to bed. After a few moments…”Everyone….all clear…we may commence the evenings festivities!” The shrill, but very feminine voice of the porcelain “Majesty” pattern teapot announced from the dining room breakfront.
“Hey any of youse in dere seen Homer?” An earthenware pitcher called out from the kitchen.

“Naw but I did hear a huge clatter in the kitchen around noon!” responded a pepper grinder which had a marvelous view from the shelf above the stove.
“I didn’t shee noshing from where I wash all day.” said the cream pitcher with the chipped lip.

“Well he ain’t in the sink and he ain’t in the dishwasher….and…OH OH….what’s dem pieces I see in da trash….could dat be….” the earthenware pitcher moaned a soft moan and then went silent.
“Hey youse guys we’re ready to party!” the plastic knife yelled from the picnic basket!

“Well, I imagine we have to allow all utensils to participate in each evenings festivities.” The porcelain chocolate  pot sniffed.

And indeed most evenings all the Mitchell household’s plates, cups, serving pieces and flatware shook off their frozen daytime personalities and had a grand get together in the kitchen. The sterling silver still tended to hang around with the porcelain dinnerware and the earthenware were more often seen with the plastic picnicware but all gathered for a bit of exercise and fun after a full day of remaining totally still. The plates spun on their edges and the cups twirled and all danced in their own style and the dish did NOT run away with the spoon as was reported earlier!
But it was a hard and fast rule that two minutes before sunrise all participants had to return to their rightful places.

Well one fine morning in June a porcelain porridge bowl and a plastic spoon did not get back in time and had to freeze in their positions in the very center of the kitchen table!

Mr. And Mrs. Mitchell descended the stairs…”What’s this! This bowl and spoon weren’t here last night Martha…we’ve had burglars in the house!!!”
“Don’t be silly Reginald…burglars don’t eat porridge! It’s just the utensils having fun!”

Of course I can’t remember when I was just an idea in the creative brain of my author. I’m fairly certain that I am far from the first book thought that was had, but I’m grateful for the creation and pursuit.
In fact, my first memory was when I was about fifty-five pages old and my protagonist had just been taken into custody by the police.
I had to keep reminding myself that I was FICTION and not to worry because there were probably hundreds of more pages to go to straighten everything out.
But I DO have story friends that didn’t have hundreds of pages and wound up bound along with others of their kind into a book of many short stories. But I digress.
I’m going to let you in on a secret here, I really wasn’t fond of my main character during those early pages but I’m just the book and have no control over the story that I am forced to tell.
I must also interject here. There are good authors and some not so good authors and we books can’t choose our creators but I am fortunate because I was lucky to have been given a good one.
When I was about ninety-seven pages long it seemed like ages before I turned the page onto ninety-eight. But I found out later that it is not uncommon to go through that as a young book and I went through those sort of stages many times until I was finished.
As I added pages I also added many literary characters and plots and subplots and I actually got quite confused myself as to who I actually was and where I was headed.

Just between us, I had a bit of wavering faith in my author many times but always was happy that at least I was not one of those SciFi books. They never seemed quite right to me even though there are a few near me on this bookshelf so I shouldn’t make too much of it here.
Things were going along smoothly until page two hundred and
Seven, Chapter ten.
My hero, main character, protagonist… died! My author
“Killed Him Off!” I was not ready for that, I must tell you.
Of course, I found out why my author did that and it made sense to me by the end.
And by the way “The End” is just the beginning for a book. I mean it is actually when you graduate and go out into the world to entertain the readers that will hold you and caress you and yes, also sometimes dog ear you or spill coffee on your pages or worst of all, make notes in your margins!

Which brings me to the modern challenge of E Books. Well, I don’t mean to sound aloof but does anyone really think that holding an electronic device is really preferable to a hardbound book with its tactile luxury and even library aroma?
The jury is still out on that I guess and I am a bit one sided on that thinking.
But the reason I asked you to listen to my story today, other than making my case for traditional printed and bound books is that I am so proud.
I am announcing today that have a new just born, ah first printing I should say…SEQUEL!
I’m saving a place on my bookshelf for it right next to me.
So in the meantime, keep reading and going to bookstores and library’s and enjoy real books and stories just like mine!