“I’m really getting full already and it’s only…I have to wait until he stops shaking his head so that I can see the clock…ah….yeah…WOW 6:46 AM… that’s a new record.”
“You know some of this stuff he throws away isn’t all that bad. This one about the five legged cat is pretty good…oh but wait…um… dangling participle in that second paragraph and inconsistent tense…and….yeah…he was right to chuck that one.”
“OUCH! Another paper cut. HEY…CAN’T YOU WAD THEM UP TIGHTER BEFORE YOU THROW THEM AT ME HEMINGWAY!!!”
“Oh what’s the use he can’t hear me anyhow. What was that last one about?”
“A two headed cow that argues with himself constantly…he’s into the “weird animal syndrome” again. Didn’t work before…LAST FIVE TIMES!”
“I wonder if I can get moved to the spare bedroom so I can finally get some sleep. Naw…won’t happen. He likes the fact that I look like a basketball goal and I guess my decor won’t integrate into that lilac and pink bedroom anyway. I’m doomed!”
“Hey…you know what…I just noticed? It’s been 14 minutes since he’s trashed me with a reject wad and he’s been typing like crazy.
You don’t suppose…Naw couldn’t be…but then….he’s still at it. Do you think….”
“He’s jumping up and down and whooping…you know I think he actually finished writing something…He’s holding the pages…let me see if I can….OH JUST TURN THEM TO THE LEFT A BIT SHAKESPEARE SO I CAN SEE…”
“Well…I’ll be…there’s the title…”SILLY GRANDPA’S WASTEPAPER BASKET!”

Filbert was drawing his usual crowd of interested animals near the bottom of his home tree.
“Do that back flip again Fil!” Reggie the Robin said.
“Sure!” responded Filbert and performed the highest back flip he’d ever done. His bushy tail didn’t even touch the ground his flip was so high.
“Wow!” That one was the best one ever!” exclaimed the red bellied woodpecker.
Then Filbert told a few jokes about humans and all the animal audience laughed. Just as “Fil” was ready to deliver his last punch line, a tall man walked over from the flagstone path and said…”Filbert Squirrel….may I speak to you Sir?”
All the birds and chipmunks scurried away to safer areas of the garden but Filbert was sort of blocked from his tree by the intruding well dressed stranger.
“Ah…what….do you want?”asked Filbert , the tremble in his voice giving away his instinctive fear of humans.
“Oh I’m not here to hurt you….in fact…well …I’m here to make you famous!”
Then the man reached into his jacket and Filbert quickly and fearfully looked around for a path of escape to safety.
“Here….it’s a contract. We want you to star in a full length feature movie and….there’ll be guest appearances on TV shows and a tour around the country to promote the movie and….”
“WAIT! Are you serious or is this one of the Mr. Johnson the squirrel hater’s mean tricks?”
“No…Mr. Filbert I assure you this is a bona fide offer of….well…stardom!”
“I….don’t know about this. I would be entertaining who?”
“Ah…humans of course…they’re the only ones with money Mr. Filbert. You would be joining a full lineup of star animals….ducks, mice, dogs, birds, even elephants….well….I could go on. But you see we don’t have a squirrel in our pool of stars and you would be PERFECT! What do you say?” The man reached down and handed the contract to Filbert.
Filbert couldn’t read of course but the paper did look very important with gold seals and signatures and then he saw it, at the very top…that unmistakable logo….”DISNEY”.
“Just put your front right paw onto this ink pad and then onto this spot on the contract Mr. Filbert Sir.”
And just as Fil touched his paw to the black pad something very sad happened………..

……….he woke up!

“He just sits there and stares out of the window. I thought that I saw an actual tear roll down his cheek earlier. There’s no comforting him.” Miss Jones, the science teacher had neither explanations nor remedies for the sorry state of her Principal Mr. Hudgens.
It was the very last day of school, half day actually, and well, all of the students and teaching staff needed at least a parting word from their scholastic chief before all would depart for the annual summer vacation.
After a sip of water and untold shoulder pats Mr. Hudgens finally looked around at the congregated concerned and uttered a few moans.
“Three hundred twenty seven of them and not one, not a single one mind you, missed a day of school for the entire year. Not a one was sent to my office for reprimand or even for advice.”
Mr. Hudgen’s head was slowly moving side to side now…”Not a voice was raised in argument, and not a single parent required an appointment to see me about the disappointing progress of their child.” The tears were welling up again.
“Where have I gone wrong. All of my years of training for what? They don’t need me. I could have remained in absentia the entire school year for the simple, unmistakable reason that I wasn’t needed.”
“But…Sir. You are our…THEIR leader. Their Principal…you must say something to the school body as they leave…Sir….please…anything.”
“Yes…of course, you’re right. Give me the microphone.”
With a cracking weak voice Mr. Hudgens summoned one last effort and merely wished all within earshot to…”Have a wonderful vacation!” then he slumped onto the desk.
The children calmly and quietly walked two by two past the Pricipal’s office, down the center hallway and out of the double main school doors and did not cut across the front lawn, and patiently waited for the buses in a single line and slowly and serenely departed for their homes and summer vacation.
During that summer, Mr. Hudgen’s made an application, then interviewed for and was awarded a job more suited to his experience as Principal of Centerville Elementary School…the job of Ringmaster of the Barnum and Bailey Circus.

CHAPTER ONE An Idea

“I wish that there was a land where puppies and kittens and boys and girls stayed young and fun for…well, ALWAYS!”
Sarah was an extremely smart little girl who had just celebrated her fourth Birthday and was thinking about all small and young things and how much she enjoyed life as a pre school “Big” little girl.
Adults were “way up there” and most dogs were too big and too scary for little her and even though grown cats were nice to pet and were gentle, she still preferred kittens. One cat was enough but you could never have too many kittens!
“And big kids, especially boys, try to boss you around a lot and parents and all adults always were reminding you who was in charge of EVERYTHING, and you weren’t!”
I did tell you that little Sarah was smart!
Sarah’s family used to have a dog before she was born, but it apparently ran away and all that remained of that era was the old dog house in the far right corner of their back garden.
The worn sign above the front opening read “OSCAR”, (the wire haired terrier’s name) although Sarah couldn’t read all words, she knew what those letters spelled.
Sarah looked inside of the “doggy house” as she called it and it was a mess. Now Sarah was a believer that things that you touch should be clean. But she had to touch all the dirty stuff in the dog house to get it clean. She decided to close her eyes and clean out the old OSCAR home and then wash her hands and maybe arms too…oh and legs too maybe…after she finished making the inside nice and fresh!
That she did, and quickly.
The “stuff” was piled outside the house and since she decided to make the dog house her playhouse she moved all of the debris over to the trash can and put it all in, with the help of a long stick to lift the high lid and then throw all the icky things in, and then close the lid back so no one would know.
Success!
“Sarah…what are you doing Darling?”
It was her Mom…”Just playing Mommy…”
“OK…have fun Dear!”
“Oh I will” thought Sarah…and she sure did!

CHAPTER TWO Adventure

Sarah knocked on the back door and her Mother came to open it and when she saw how dirty Sarah was she said…”Oh my Sarah, we’ve got to clean you up. If you are going to get so dirty you’ll have to wear old jeans and shoes….and…”
Her Mom was still explaining about dirt and playing and clothing and little girls should stay as clean as they can….while Sarah was getting her dirty self cleaned up she was thinking about going right back to the doggy house!
Her Mom said something about “Tom Boy” but Sarah didn’t know any boys named Tom but as soon as Sarah got outside again she went straight to you know where.
Once inside her relatively clean “playhouse” as it now had become, Sarah looked around at the place and noticed a small hole on the right side of the back wall. She tried to look through but it was too tiny an opening. In fact, the hole was so tiny that her little pinky finger barely fit into the space and as she wiggled her pinky, the entire rear of the dog…I mean “playhouse” swung open and there was a wire haired terrier puppy there that began to lick her on the nose!
The tag on the puppy’s collar read “OSCAR”.

“I’ve been wondering when someone would find out about us!” Oscar said in a childlike little voice.
“I’m Sarah!”
“I know!”
“But you were an old dog right?”
“Well, here we are all like you…young and rather small and, most importantly…HAPPY!” Oscar resumed licking Sarah’s face!
“You should tell Mom and Dad that you are here. They miss you Oscar!”
“Oh…I can’t go back. And I really don’t want to either.”
“Is it that wonderful here?”
“Oh my yes. Me and all of my friends will stay little, and friendly and happy and frisky…forever!”
“And if I stay will I remain a little girl for always?”
“Oh sure. But there are problems here just like over there!”
“Problems!” Sarah was a bit surprised by that revelation from Oscar.
“Well, we don’t have any butterflies here, they are all still caterpillars.”
“Oh!” exclaimed Sarah.
“But puppies and kittens and ponies are all GOOD things!”
“Oh yes Sarah, we all love the fun of it all!”
“And some of the bad things are good things too.” explained Oscar.
“Huh?” Sarah didn’t understand that one.
“Yeah, we’ll never be adults and do adult things like drive a car but there are no traffic jams.”
“Dogs don’t drive cars anyhow!”
“Especially not here!” Oscar declared.
“And we never have to go to work!” added Oscar.
“Do you go to school?”
“Well…no but we learn from each other. Many of us were old once and we can still remember important lessons.”
“I guess I understand but I want to be a teenager.” mused Sarah.
“Well…that is your decision. You can go back anytime you wish.”
“But can I visit?” asked Sarah.
“As long as the dog house is still there…yes!”
Oscar took Sarah around to meet some of his friends but there was not a single human around although Oscar said that “Kids come and go often. I guess there are a lot of dog houses in the real world.” Oscar explained.
“Sarah thought for a long time and finally decided that she would rather visit than actually live on the “puppy side” as she called it.
So Sarah went back through the back of the dog house/playhouse and played with her dolls and ate hamburgers and watched butterflies and planned her next visit to Oscar’s.

The cabin door opened and when I saw the bright warm sunshine glinting off of that shiny wing I flew straight out of there as fast as I could!
I had been trapped in that airplane for hours. Shouldn’t have followed that kid onto that plane in the first place but that cheese steak sandwich smelled SO GOOD! (Never did get to land on it!)
But then, even though I was warm, I was hungry and I had no idea where I was or where to go.
Just then another fly buzzed by and I followed him until he lit on a hamburger wrapper.
“Hey ah, where am I buddy?”
“Huh…what kinda accent y’all got there anyhow?”
“Oh…well, just got off of the flight from Philly.”
“Well, there’s another one going back in an hour try to get on that one.” The new fly obviously did NOT want to be friends. But he continued: “I don’t mean to be mean, but I just got off of the flight from Atlanta and I can’t understand a single word they are buzzin’ here in Dallas.”
So I went into the terminal and buzzed around looking for something to eat while I waited for my next flight and I just happened onto a discarded brisket sandwich. Well, I though the Philly cheese steak was good but that brisket…WOW!
To make a long story short I made my home in Dallas and live behind Pete’s Brisket Palace with a mess of friends and some cousins that just flew in from Fort Worth.
Gotta go. Here comes young Jimmy with the trash! Yum!

With all of my toys

And all of my joys

Friends girls and boys

When I am lonely

I hug myself

Days and nights

Can be full of frights

So when I’m scared

From things I’ve feared

I hug myself

When I get down

And there’s no one around

Whether I’m at home

Or on the playground

I hug myself

So whomever you are

An unknown or a star

When times get tough

And you’ve had enough

Just hug yourself

“When you get ready for a picnic there’s always so much to do!”
“I agree. There’s finding the proper location and there’s making sure that the effort will be worth it for everybody with good food.”
“And don’t forget about the weather. That’s very important. We don’t want the picnic to have to be packed up quickly and everyone scramble away.”
“Well…anything worth the effort always takes a lot of forethought.”
All agreed.
Just then “Brownie” ran into the group…”I found it the PERFECT picnic spot!”
“Oh great! Show us exactly where it is and we’ll all follow!”
Brownie led the way and then following closely behind him in a long line was the entire ant hill!

I have to go to the dentist today
And Boy, I just can’t wait
There are toys and games in the waiting room
It’s gonna be just great

They’ll be lots of other children there
Waiting for their turn
But I might just be the only one
Happy to return

I wasn’t smiling late last week
I had my back tooth drilled
And it didn’t feel much better
When I had to have it filled

But I’m looking forward to today
I’m as happy as can be
‘Cause today I’m not the patient
It’s my sister Melanie!

“Did you see that?…LOOK…he did it again!”
“What?…did I see what?…sorry I wasn’t looking just then Sam.”
“That human…there…see? Don’t tell me your eyesight is failing. All those carrots…IMPOSSIBLE!”
“Sorry Sam. What’s he doing?”
“He’s spraying something on OUR vegetable garden…THE NERVE!”
“Ah well…isn’t that HIS ..ah…garden …ah Sam?”
“Don’t get technical on me Clyde. He provides for us. Certainly WE can’t farm a garden.That’s what humans are for. That’s why God put them on earth!”
“Oh yes…well… I’m not sure the human sees it in just that way Sam.”
“Yeah. You’re probably right. They are such thick headed beings…humans.”
“Oh there he goes…now he’s getting the sprinkler, what an idiot! Doesn’t he know that’s gonna dilute the bug spray that he just sprayed on there?”
“Ah…well…isn’t that good for us Sam…that he’s washing our vegetables off?”
“Yeah…Clyde…good point! Oh …I can’t watch anymore. Let’s go over to Mr. Murphy’s garden while Dumkoff here squirts off our veggies!”
The two bunny pals hopped off behind the bramble bushes down to the next house which was 97 hops away.
“Keep your ears down Clyde. I don’t feel much like runnin’ right now…and I’m hungry. How ’bout you?”
“Yeah I could eat a whole row of lettuce…ummm yeah I could!”
When Sam and Clyde reached the edge of the Murphy garden, they looked and waited for two whole minutes…not moving.
Meanwhile, Mr. Murphy said to Marge his wife…”Look at this…there they are…see them on the edge of the garden over by the Johnson house?”
“Oh they’re so cute aren’t they? I just LOVE bunnies!” said Mrs. Murphy.
“Yeah well me too, but I do have to control how much of my garden that I let them eat. But it’s not too tough…they scare pretty easily!” commented Mr. Murphy.
After another minute or so Clyde nudged Sam…”Let’s go…nobody’s around!”
The two hungry rabbits moved into the last row of the Murphy garden where the Bibb lettuce was growing.
“Now remember Sam…just a few leaves from each head as we move along. We’ve gotta be stealthy and outsmart the old guy, otherwise he’ll get wise to our visits!”
“Gotcha!” Sam said with two green Bibb lettuce leaves already sticking out of his mouth. “Yum…I LOVE lettuce and of course carrots…oh yeah, and cabbage…and…”
“C’mon already…shut up and eat…we don’t wanna be here too long!”
The bunny buddies made their way down the row and when they got to the end…”OK…back to the hutch! Can’t take a chance of being seen. We’ll get back later for lunch.”
“Right!”
“Keep your ears down!”
“I know…I know.”
After they left, Mr. Murphy came out and walked down to the edge of his garden and looked over his Bibb lettuce.
“Amazing! Those rabbits helped themselves to my lettuce and I can’t even see any evidence that they were even here!”
Then Mr. Murphy’s neighbor Mr. Johnson called over. “Hey Ed. I saw some verment rabbits in your garden. They’ll eat every vegetable you’ve got if you let ’em!”
“Oh I don’t mind. In fact, I grow extra lettuce and carrots for ’em…Marge thinks they’re cute!”
“Man…not me! They’ll destroy the whole place if you let ’em!” grumped Mr. Johnson.
“Well…you can send them over here if you want to!” smiled Mr. Murphy.
“I’ll send ’em to bunny heaven if I ever see ’em in my garden again!” promised Mr. Johnson shaking his fist in the air.
Fortunately Clyde and Sam had not reached their hutches and heard what Mr. Johnson said and never EVER went to his garden again and lived a very long and happy vegetarian bunny life.

“Hey, watch out with those pliers bud, I ain’t stainless steel you know!”
The gold heart was being added to the other 17 charms already on the link chain. It was Valentine’s Day.
“Put me next to that gold world charm not that Scottie dog. Hey are you listening up there buddy?”
“Grrrr.”
“Ah…Hi what’s your name nice little puppy?” Heart was dangling awfully close to that ferocious canine charm and found absolutely nothing “charming” about him.
“Grrrr….KILLER! That’s me!”
Then “Heart” looked to the other side of where she was dangling and there was an Eiffel Tower that was swinging too close and then… “Ouch!”
“Hey watch your pointy top there. You can hurt someone!”
“Pardonnez Moi! C’est la vie!”
But as the bracelet, with Heart added, was gifted to the lucky Lady she singled out the new charm and rubbed the surface and said “I love it!”
Eventually, Heart made friends with the Scottie by complimenting him and Eiffel Tower taught her to speak conversational French.
Occasionally Heart would call over to the other charms across the wrist and after a fairly short time all were friends. With her change in attitude, Heart had indeed charmed them all!