Freddy opened his mouth for his morning “ribbit” and absolutely nothing came out. He tried again and again but still…nothing. This had never happened before. Well he couldn’t croak when he was a tadpole, but neither could any of the other tadpoles in the pond.
If a frog can’t croak…well….he might as well be a salamander…not that there’s anything wrong with being a salamander, but Freddy had heard his father’s booming bull frog croak and wanted to be and sound just like him.
Since Freddy was a “wild” frog he wasn’t even aware that veterinarians existed. Frogs, like all animals that live in nature must deal with illness and injuries on their own. Freddy hoped that his voice would return very soon and he tried gargling stream water, but that didn’t help.
Freddie was hoping that none of his pond friends would notice his “not” croaking, but as Sammy slug slithered by he whispered ” What’s a matta…got a frog in yer throat? Hee Hee Hee…..” and he slimed on down the rock on the pond bank leaving his tell-tale track.
“Now everyone’s gonna know that I can’t croak. That Sammy is such a gossipy slug!”
But other pond residents were sympathetic to Freddy’s condition and waved their fins or shook their shells as Tommy the turtle did, but none had a solution for Freddy’s condition.
As Freddy contemplated his next attempt at a cure, an infrequent visitor to the pond a large white swan landed and glided nearby to Freddy. “Oh Miss swan do you know anything about…ah sore throats? I noticed that you have a very long neck and so at one time or another you must have….” But the swan held up a black webbed foot, shook her head, then immediately flew off dripping water as she rose into the air, circled the pond, then flew off. At first, Freddy thought that the swan’s actions were very rude, then later he found out from Mr. Mallard that she was actually a “Mute Swan,” and that explained everything!
Then Freddy thought about who would be the smartest, wisest animal he knew, and as he was wondering, he heard “WHO…Wh…WHO…”
It was the barn owl Ollie. Surely he was the smartest animal around the pond. Freddy would ask him. But wait! Owls sometimes liked to dine on reptilians, but Freddy was an amphibian wasn’t he? Just to be safe, Freddy waited until Ollie had finished his dinner or breakfast or whatever it was. You couldn’t be sure with owls, they keep such odd hours.
When Freddy was certain that Ollie was hooting an “after meal” hoot, he jumped around to get Ollie’s attention. After all, he couldn’t yell up at him. It took a while but finally, Ollie saw Freddie and swooped down and landed on the rock next to Freddy’s lily pad.
“What’s up?” asked Ollie wiping his beak off with his left talon. Freddy pointed to his throat and whispered…”I can’t croak….”
“Ummmm…have you tried gargling?”
“Yep!” whispered Freddy.
“Ummmm….well….maybe you could hop over to that house over there, and get onto the back porch. A kid lives there and he’ll want to keep you as a pet, and when he finds out that you are a frog that can’t croak, his Mom will give you human medicine and cure you. Then you can escape back here. Well…see you later!” Then the Owl flew off quickly and silently back up into his tree hollow.
“Pretty smart!” thought Freddy, but then he remembered that his Dad had told him to watch out for humans because some of them eat….Freddy didn’t even want to finish the thought about his frog legs, and decided that Ollie’s suggestion just wouldn’t do.
Freddy also tended to dismiss the suggestions of the nearby squirrels, because he thought they were nuts. A honey bee said that honey was a great treatment for a sore throat, but wasn’t about to give up any in his hive, and Freddy had no way of getting up to the nest anyway.
After about three days of inquiry and contemplation, Freddy was just about to give up and be a “mute” frog…perhaps the world’s first, when Pierre the rabbit hopped by. Freddy was about to ask him about curing laryngitis, but then realized rabbits never talked anyhow, they just wiggled their noses and ears and silence was one of their defenses to predators. Oh yes and a rabbit’s very fast legs too, let them scoot away from danger.
Freddy decided to give his throat just one last try before committing himself to a life of non-croaking, when a faint, and somewhat crackling “Ribbit” emitted from his throat. “Huh?” He tried again and as he kept trying, his voice kept getting stronger and stronger, and soon he was about 95% back to his old croaky self.
All of the other pond animals heard him. Some inhabitants of the pond were happier to hear Freddy return to his natural croaking state than others.
The mayflies, crickets and mosquitoes, were delighted to return to the pond now that they could tell exactly where Freddy was, which let them be sure that they were as far from Freddy as they could get.
“I guess sometimes you just have to let nature take its course!” said Freddy, which of course, it always does.

If you were a grape you might hang in a bunch
And some hungry kid might have you for lunch
If you were a grape maybe grape juice you’d be
You’d have to be squeezed but you would flow free

If you were a grape you could be a jam or jelly
And you might wind up in somebody’s belly
If you were a grape you might become wine
You’d be in a bottle for a very long time

Yes a grape has the potential to be different things
Just like girls and boys that can be anything
Your potential is so great it’s simply amazin’
In fact, I’m so old I’ve turned into a raisin

Once upon a time there was a clock named Saul
He was the type of clock that hung on the wall
Well he could see very well all that went on
But he’d have rather been a watch since the second he was born

He always knew what time it was and was never slow or fast
But he had dreams of a better life as the time passed and passed
He dearly loved the Spring because springing ahead was fun
But he dreaded the Fall ’cause turning back hurt his hands some

He wanted a chime or at least a bell
Or maybe a voice so the time he could tell
But it seemed no one cared that he couldn’t speak
When they looked for the time…they just took a peek

“What if I stopped running maybe then they would stare
And they’d take me down and fix me with care
But then what if they didn’t and just threw me out
You shouldn’t do things if you have any doubt”

“So I guess it’s time to be thankful and happy I’m here
And look forward to timekeeping …year after year
I’m so glad we talked and had this little chat
If I weren’t a wall clock…I’d wish to be that!”

“OK,OK you guys….and gals, just have patience out there. We’ll get to all of you I promise. Who was next?…I lost track!” The Emperor Penguin doorman checked his clipboard…”Now Mr. Pachyderm, what is it exactly that you can’t do?”
The huge grey elephant trumpeted before admitting “I….can’t…..JUMP!”
The penguin checked off the elephant and allowed the huge animal to squeeze through the double doors, with the aid of about six employees pushing the south end of the north-facing creature.
“Next!” shouted the Penguin.
The doorman whose name was Ernie, got his job after being a regular attending member of the Cannots and even though Ernie couldn’t fly like other birds, he made a GREAT doorman.
“NEXT!!!” Ernie had to shout to be heard and then felt a tapping on his ankle. When he looked down he saw a black snake looking up at him. “SSS…my name’sss SSSSSam and I can’t run. BUT I CAN SSSLITHER!”
“OK…ah SSSSSAM! Got it!” And the snake slithered into the club.
Outside of the Cannot club the animals were lined up a block long. Ernie was a very intelligent Penguin and after assessing the crowd of animals lined up, he had a thought that would make his job easier and faster and relieve the long lines quickly.
“How many of you, like me, can’t fly?” he yelled.
The raccoons, and possums and groundhogs and dogs and cats and well, nearly every waiting animal except for the ducks and geese raised their paws!
The chickens and pheasants in line raised their wings just about halfway but would need another CANNOT to get them admitted because although they don’t fly well, they do get off of the ground.
The chickens and pheasants were eventually allowed inside because none of them could climb a tree.
Just as Ernie was about to close the entrance door he noticed a small boy leaning against the side of the building and sadly looking down at the ground.
“Ah…kid…what’s the matter? Did your pet go inside the club?” asked a concerned Ernie.
“No…I’m Eric and I was told that this is the Cannot club and I…cannot….READ!”
“Oh my! Well. Here at the club we don’t celebrate what each of us cannot do but we cheer and try to improve the things that we CAN all do. But, in your case, I think that since nearly everyone I know of can read, we will all be happy to teach you how to read. I guarantee you that after lessons from our best readers you will be such a good reader that the library will know you on a first name basis! AND…since you can’t fly either, without an airplane that is, you qualify, so welcome to the Cannot Club.”
And Ernie swung the doors wide open for Eric.
After just a few weeks Eric was reading really well and in fact was reading stories about kids and their pets to all of the Cannot Club.
And it was at Eric’s suggestion that the Cannot Club shortened their name to the “Can Club,” which of course is true of everyone, human or animal, if they learn and work hard at something that they CAN do.
Who knows? One day at a zoo or in India or Africa somewhere…an elephant will JUMP!

In a stream so clear and bright,
Swims a minnow, small and light.
But one day, with a curious mind,
It left the water, land to find.

With tiny fins, it took a leap,
Onto the shore, where grasses sweep.
It wiggled through the dewy blades,
And marveled at the forest glades.

The world above was vast and new,
With skies so wide and flowers’ hue.
It met a beetle, shiny black,
And followed on a winding track.

Through fields of green and hills so high,
The minnow saw the world go by.
Though land was strange, it felt so grand,
To be a minnow on the land.

But soon it missed the water’s flow,
The gentle waves, the undertow.
So back it went, with tales to tell,
Of land adventures, all went well.

“Look over there…by the bench.”
“Hey….yeah….isn’t that funny. I don’t think I ever saw one that hungry before.”
“Naw…me either.”
“Look at that one …prancing around like a Peacock or something.”
“Amazing. They are so busy eating I don’t think they care whether we’re watching them or not.”
“You must admit…it IS facinating.”
“Well…yeah I agree with that. Some of my friends think I’m batty watching them and all of their colorful idiosyncracies.”
“I especially like feeeding times. How they all scramble and get in lines and sometimes get pushy. The bigger ones always seem to elbow their way to the food.”
“Well…are we done here today?”
“Yeah…I think so. Want to go get something to eat ourselves?”
“Sure. Over on the corner there’s a great place to eat.”
“My FAVORITE place. They always have the deluxe mix with the nuts and berries. Let’s fly over there now.”

“Tommy…it’s time to practice your piano lesson Dear.”
“Aww Mom…can’t I just skip today? I promise I’ll practice twice as long tomorrow.”
“I’m afraid not Tommy….you know the rules.”
“But the guys are having a great neighborhood soccer tournament…and we’ve just GOT to beat those guys from Waverly!”
“You can play AFTER your practice…it’s only for thirty minutes Tommy!”
“It’ll be too late then…AW MOM….PLEASE?”
“Sorry Dear…one day you’ll thank me for insisting that you practice your piano…you’ll see.”

Tommy hung his head and trudged off to the living room and sat down at the piano.”I hate you!” He grunted at the piano making sure not to say it too loudly because he didn’t want his Mom to hear him. Then he banged a D Major seventh chord as hard as he could!
“Ouch!”
Tommy’s eyes grew as big as saucers as he stared at the piano. Then he banged a C Minor chord and heard “Hey…take it easier please.”
“You….ah….can….t-talk?”
“I can complain when I’m struck in anger!”

Just then Tommy heard his Mom yell out to him from the kitchen…”I don’t hear those scales that you are supposed to be playing Tommy. Your thirty minutes doesn’t start until you do!”
“Ah…yes Mom.”

He began playing his practice scales and after the series of scales and chords in his routine warm up he realized that the piano hadn’t “said” another word. As Tommy progressed through his lesson he started to think that maybe he had imagined the “conversation” that had transpired with the piano. He played “Clair de Lune” for his final practice selection without one error. That had never happened before. “Maybe the piano is…helping me……Naw…that’s crazy!”

“That was beautiful Tommy…I actually had a tear in my eye listening to your playing.” Tommy’s Mom stood at the door to the kitchen smiling wider than Tommy had ever seen her smile.
“Oh great!” thought Tommy…”Now I’ll never be able to give up those stupid piano lessons!”

It was years later when Tommy was sitting in a field box in England watching Manchester United versus the Italian National team playing a crucial soccer game when a young boy came up to him.

“Sir…would you sign my autograph book please. My Mom took me to see your appearance with the London Philharmonic and we have all of your recordings…in fact….I chose to play the piano because of you.”
“Sure son…I’ll be glad to sign your book.”
After signing and watching the boy return to his seat, Tommy turned to the person sitting next to him and said “Thanks Mom!”

“Don’t go up to that house Billy, there’s a ghost that lives there! Jason has saw it!” Tommy said.
“Jason has SEEN it.” corrected Billy.
“Yeah, that’s what I said!”
“Well, I’m going anyhow! Besides, it’s Halloween. Halloween is for witches and…wait for it…GHOSTS!!!”
“Well, I’m leavin’.”
“Me TOO!” both of the other boys said as they quick stepped their way down the street and away from the creepy house!
Billy had to admit, at least to himself, that it was scary, even for Halloween, but he creaked up the old splintered steps and just as he was about to push the door bell button…
“WHAT???” The door flew open and just about the oldest, grayest, staringist person he’d EVER seen yelled out at him.
He was so startled that he nearly fell off of the top porch step, but caught himself just in time to prevent falling.
After recovering his balance and a little nerve, the door was still filled with the eeriest sight his nine year old eyes had ever seen or imagined, he gathered his strength and said …”That wasn’t very nice you know. I know that I’m supposed to respect my elders but you make it VERY difficult Ma’am.”
There was just a stare back at him with steely eyes that didn’t seem to even have any white parts to them.
After just staring at each other, Billy decided to just leave…”Well, Happy Halloween M’aam.”
A pause then…”Wait.” When Billy looked back at the woman in the door he saw that tears were streaming out of both of her old tired and, he had to admit, scary eyes.
“I’m sorry. I just hate being scary and hateful. But, everybody thinks that I’m a witch or worse yet, a ghost and there is absolutely nothing that I can do about it!” She was fully crying now.
“Oh, M’aam there is always something that you can do. Besides we kids LIKE to be scared and on Halloween, well, you’re just about the scariest…” No wait, thought Billy. THAT won’t help.”
“Here, take my candy and give it out to the trick or treaters. I’ll go get more while you do that and I’ll help you give it out too if you’d like!”
“Why don’t you sit down on this porch chair Ma’am.”
“I…I haven’t been outside since, this is gonna sound strange, the full moon of last Halloween.”
“You’re right…strange. But make the most of it. I’ll help you!”

Well, little Billy Smith helped the lady, who he found out was Ima Sloan, over the threshold and out onto the porch. He placed the candy into her dress lap and then went out to the curb and directed kids to “Trick Or Treat” the Scariest candy giver EVER!”
Ms. Sloan started each kid with a grumpy look then laughed out loud as she gave them the treat!
Soon there was a line forming and the candy was running out. “You each have to put a candy in and then take a candy out!”
In less than twenty minutes, the line was out on Elm Street and down the block.
A newspaper photographer who was out covering the story for the local press actually took Ms. Sloan’s and Billy’s picture and it appeared in the next morning’s edition.
Ms. Sloan was a local celebrity and so was Billy and neither one could wait for next Halloween!

“Ouch! Hey, watch where you’re goin’!”
“Ah…sorry…I didn’t mean to…”
“Ow! Ya got me again…what’s up with you?”
“Sorry…again…I’m tryin’ to keep my quills as flat as I can…oh my.”
Little Pauly Porcupine moved as close as he could to the carpeted wall to let the other animals pass by. It was Saturday and the ANIMALL was very crowded.
“I guess I should just stay home until I grow up more and get better control of my quills…but I DO like to be out and about especially at the Mall.”
Then as the crowd of possums, raccoons and turtles went past and there was a clear space around Pauly, he tried to step away from the wall and back into the walkway, but he couldn’t! He was stuck to the bright blue (his favorite color) wall…like…well…like velcro!
Pauly tugged and pulled trying to free himself from the thick carpeting but he was surely stuck! And the more Pauly wiggled and twisted the more stuck he became.
“Why DO they carpet walls anyway…that’s so dumb…only lizards walk on walls and they don’t even need carpets.” Pauly tried and tried but he couldn’t budge.
Then Mr. Rabbit came by…”Oh, Mr. Rabbit, can you help me…I seem to be stuck here?”
“Ah…well…yeah sure…but where do I put my paws…I mean…you’ve got all those pointy sharp needles and all…ah…sorry…I’d really LIKE to help…really!” And Mr. Bunny hopped on into the ANIMALL looking back at Pauly and shaking his head.
Then Miss Goat came up to Pauly. “Are you stuck there?”
“Oh yes…yes I am…VERY stuck, can you help pull me off of this wall…pleeeaaaase!”
“Well…I’ve only got these hoofs and I can’t grip and well…I just came from the manicurist and my nails are still wet…sorry.”
And Miss Goat clomped off into the mall not even looking back.
“Oh my…what am I to do?” moaned Pauly.
Then four crows came swaggering past Pauly. “Hey look at dat…dat dere is a livin’ sculpture…man dis mall’s got everythin’ dats why I love comin’ here right guys?”
“Yeah dats a good one Boss! Hah!” And the crows waddled on past Pauly cackling and chirping to themselves and pointing back at him with their wings.
“Oh I’ll NEVER get off this wall!” moaned Pauly.
Then, in the distance Pauly spotted a small round creature that looked very similar to Pauly…and as the animal got closer Pauly’s face brightened with a smile because headed exactly in his direction was a…porcupine!
Pauly started calling out…”Hey…ah Hi…ah…got a little problem here!”
As the stranger neared Pauly he said…”Yeah…I see…got too close to the wall huh?”
“Yeah…kinda…could you help me please?”
“Sure kid…I don’t know why they carpet walls anyhow…saves on paint I guess.”
“Yeah…gee thanks a lot…none of the other animals could or would help me…but I guess you know that …being a porcupine yourself and all.”
“Yeah…I’m used to it…Ya gotta be a loner…well except for your family of course.”
Then the stranger grabbed Pauly by the rear legs, twisted and turned and as Pauly’s back came free, the stranger lifted and twisted again and Pauly popped free of the wall!
“Oh…thank you Mister…” said Pauly counting to see if he’d lost any quills in the carpet.
“No problem…just stay away from carpeted walls…and well…other animals…people…well…you know! Why don’t you walk in the mall with me and we’ll clear out a few crowds?”
“I guess if you’re lucky enough to be born a porcupine there ARE certain advantages.”
“Yeah Kid that’s the way you gotta look at it…all us animals are created for a certain purpose and sometimes we can’t figure out why but we have to make the most of what we’ve got and just be happy with who we are…oh and we’ve also gotta stay away from carpeted walls!”

“Hi! The other keys on my keyboard are helping me give a shout out to you today. Normally I’m not a very popular key because you see I’m the DELETE button.”
“Oh, I do have a few close friends like the space bar (who never says much, but is a great listener) and the backspace arrow, who kinda does the same job as me, so we have something in common.”
“The most popular keys like E and ENTER never want to chat, and I’ve never shared a single word with CTRL…EVER.”
“I can’t actually figure out why I’m so unpopular with almost all of the other keys, after all I give them another chance to be used over again later. But I’m content with my role on the keyboard and actually I believe that I’m one of the most popular keys. Why do I think that… you ask? Because my writer Russ makes so many mistakes, he actually uses me more than any other key.”
“I was going to chat longer, but Russ is typing and I’m an expert about knowing when to delete.”